The one where I post after having not for 4 years.
Apr 23rd
I’d say it’s been awhile, but you can’t rush awesome and that’s what you’re here for.
I feel like 4 years is adequate time for you to ponder me and what I’ve been doing.
I’ve been raising an awesome girl. She’s awesome because SHE CAME FROM MY LOINS.
I’ve been further cementing my marriage to my awesome wife of 12 years. She’s awesome because SHE MARRIED ME.
I recently broke up with Nvidia whom I’ve been dating for 2 years, but it wasn’t them, it was me. I told Nvidia we can still be friends, though.
You see Nvidia, I met someone else. This new company is young, firm, somewhat promiscuous and still very flexible.
Plus the company name references booze and that’s all I really need.
More important than the company is the man behind the company, though and I feel like I need to answer some questions about the man… the myth… the legend.
Brandon Kelly
It has occurred to me that some of you may not know Brandon Kelly. That is unfortunately and is something I am about to change.
Some of you may already know Brandon Kelly.
Some of you may Biblically know Brandon Kelly and you should consider yourselves blessed.
You may be wondering what it’s like to work with such a superstar. A man who has the midas touch and knows where and when to use it. A woman’s man and a man’s best friend.
Let me assure you he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. Except when his pants are on, he makes golden software.
Let me tell you some facts I’ve learned about Brandon.
- Brandon is immutable. If something is going to change, it’s the rest of the universe.
- Brandon’s code does not have performance bottlenecks. He simply makes the universe wait it’s turn.
- When Brandon’s code fails to compile, the COMPILER apologises.
- Q: Can Brandon ask a question that even Brandon can’t answer? A: Yes. And he can answer it, too.
- Whenever Brandon pushes a value onto a stack, it stays pushed.
- When invoking one of Brandon’s callbacks, the runtime always adds “please”.
- Brandon does not need and has never used a debugger. He simply stares down the bug until the code confesses.
- Brandon doesn’t use web standards. The web conforms to him.
- Fun fact, go to google and search for in “handsome genius”. Google says, “Did you mean Brandon Kelly”?
- Brandon CAN believe it’s not butter.
- Brandon once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands.
- Brandon made the Kessel run in under twelve parsecs.
- Brandon knows the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow.
- I once saw Brandon get into a fight with Chuck Norris. Or course Chuck Norris won, but Brandon took several round house kicks to the face, smiled and said “Thank you, sir.” before he went down.
There is only one thing that can happen when you pair the combined awesomeness of a Brandon and Brad team. It’s like crossing the streams.
I just hope the world can handle it.
Spawning a new process
Feb 12th
In case you haven’t heard… new baby Bell is here, which officially makes me a parent. Full details can be found at www.sydneybell.com along with pictures. Of course, that site is very much under development and will go up and down as I find time to finish it.
Speaking of time, there is not much spare of it lately, what with the baby and the crying and the changing diapers and what not.
Anyway, the mantle is nearly complete, and it would have been finished by now if not for that pesky kid!!! j/k honey. 
All it needs now is a little more wood putty work, some stain and to redo the trim work around it. I plan on finishing it this week sometime and taking some pics of it.
I will destroy the mantle!
Jan 23rd
I tackled the mantle again today.
Got the cap on and purchased the crown molding. Man that stuff is expensive! It’s a rather intricate design of molding I’ve come up with since the top of the mantle is 6 inches from the top of the brick and 10.5 inches from the wall and the bottom of the mantle is 7 inches from the wall, I’ve designed a 4 layer angled molding pattern that looks good on paper, but will probably fail miserably in reality.
To get the angles right, I borrowed a miter saw from my brother and an air compressed nail gun for the molding work. Of course, I have no means of providing the compressed air for said gun, so I had to borrow his compressor too. 
Tomorrow should be a day of destruction!
I’m surprised I’m up now anyway. I got off a 24-hour shift at 7am today.
One of those shifts where you don’t do anything all day long, but you end up running calls all night long. Those are kind of annoying.
And because Mr. Earnest mentioned it, I did a bit of googling for the Parodi Anti-Embolic System. Interesting reading.
As I’m sure you well know, one of the major risks of any type of surgery is developing a pulmonary embolus, which is basically anything from a fatty clot in the pulmonary circulation to an air bubble. The embolus will get lodged in very inconvenient places such as a lung or ventricle of the heart or perhaps take I-95 up to the cerebrum and cause an occlusive stroke. Sure there are other risk factors for PEs (smoking, birth control, etc.) but surgery seems to be the big one. In my roughly 2 years in EMS, I’ve seen 3 diagnosed PE cases and they all had a recent history of surgery.
It turns out there are several systems currently in practice for reducing the chance of PEs after surgery. Sure you can anti-coagulate the hell out of someone before the surgery (which is usually done), but I’m talking super new systems! One of them is the Parodi system which involves creating a blood flow reversal in the internal carotid artery as a means of preventing PEs.
Anyway, I’m tired and off to bed. Going to try and stick a fork in the fireplace mantle tomorrow.
Termites
Jan 22nd
I finished paramedic school several weeks back and have been enjoying the relative calm afforded by no longer going to classes / clinicals / ride times 7 days a week.
I’ve almost finished filling out the 700 page 18 pound packet that the EMS authority of California has decided that is vitally important for every paramedic of the state to know how to fill out.
Gwyn is very pregnant and ready to pop. Any second now… wait… now! Seriously, I believe this is week 39. There is just not that much room left in there.
I also haven’t been updating a lot, because I’ve been catching up on other computer stuff that I’ve had to put off for the last few years because of school.
For one, this site design is worn. So it’s up for an overhaul, but I’m moving to ASP.NET with SQL Server 2005 as the back end.
One thing I’ve learned is that my first impression of the new Visual Studio 2005 is relatively positive. It’s overall IDE integration with remote SQL and IIS servers is snappy and it’s got some great built-in coding tools to make development easier.
One big con is that VS2k5 automatically installs a local copy of SQL 2005 Express Edition and VS is setup by default to use it. Which is great for new developers wanting to quickly develop database applications, but getting it to run off of a remote SQL server is like extracting a blood clot from the left anterior descending coronary artery with a wire from the femoral artery…
Well, bad analogy, it’s just a pain in the arse.
But it’s up and running now and I’m converting all of my ASP functions over to ASP.NET functions.
There is a lot of stuff that is broken on the current site too. Like the super duper file indexer that I use for photos, music and files. It’s mainly how I’ve had to reorganize my directory structure and it breaks the indexer. I think for the new site I’ll revisit how this is handled but for now, it’s mostly broken and outdated data.
I’ve also registered a web site for our soon to be child and I’ll try to have something up soon with all sorts of cute and cuddly and snugable pictures. I may throw in some charts and graphs and polynomial equations as well, just for the fun of it.
So while I’ve been filling out paperwork on my days off, I’ve also been building a new wooden fireplace mantle for my grandmother. Turns out her old one had been eaten hollow by termites awhile back. So she gets the termites terminated. One thing I’ve come to realize is that these “small” home projects never stay small.
When I pulled down the mantle (which was mostly hollowed out) the sheet rock behind it was damaged as well (probably due to earlier water damage as well as termites). The sheet rock was damaged almost up to the ceiling. Of course when you remove the sheet rock you see the damaged support studs behind it.
So after gutting out a roughly 8 foot by 4 foot section of wall, we replaced the 2×4 studs and re-drywalled and re-mudded. Yesterday I finally got started on the mantle and got the base of it done. Hopefully tomorrow I can do the cap and crown molding for it and stain the whole thing. I’ve never done this before so I’m pretty much making it up as I go along.
By the Numbers
Nov 20th
The good news is, school is almost over. The bad news is, things will probably be crazy after school for a good while, too.
Also, the baby is almost here. It’s a girl, if I haven’t mentioned that already. No name, yet. I’m shooting for Larry.
The pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster. Laughing, crying, screaming, throwing things… and my wife is fine, too.
Anyway, I’ve got 2 more ride times and 1 more clinical left, but I’ve began to tally my folder totals, because that’s how anal I am.
397 patient contacts including:
Ages
- 230 Adult
- 87 Geriatric
- 19 Infant
- 17 Adolescent
- 16 School Age
- 12 Newborn
- 8 Toddler
- 8 Preschool
Types
- 64 Trauma
- 34 Psychiatric
- 34 GI/GU
- 34 Altered Mental Status
- 15 OB/Gyn
Signs/Symptoms
- 47 Chest Pains
- 33 Shortness of Breath Adult
- 28 Shortness of Breath Pediatric
- 20 Syncopal Episodes
- 1 Vaginal Birth
Skills
- 129 Bag Valve Mask Ventilations
- 105 EKGs
- 96 Med Admins
- 62 IVs
- 9 Endotracheal Intubations
- 5 Blood Draws
- 4 Foley Caths
- 3 Lifeport Accesses
- 2 Nasogastric Tube Insertions
- 1 LMA Insertion
That do be all for now!
It’s dusty around here.
Jul 3rd
Things have been incredibly busy around here since the last update, but here’s a brief update:
I’ve got a full time job as an EMT-IV, which takes up 48-72 hours per week. It’s fun. Especially all the blood. Not so much the vomit, but the blood is nice.
I’m in school still, which takes up about 20 hours per week for class time.
I’m doing ride times which take up 12 hours a pop. I need 17 more 12 hour ride times before December.
I’ve got clinicals twice a week starting July 11th for another 24 hours a week.
Plus all of the studying time in between all this crap to maintain a passing grade.
What’s that… about 187 hours per week now? Sounds about right.
I also try to squeeze in some World of Warcraft time as much as possible. I’m addicted to that awesome sweet sexy luscious game.
I’ve got a lot of my friends hooked on it and all of their wives now hate me. Mission accomplished!
<nerdtalk>I’ve got a level 60 paladin with an epic mount 5/8ths of his LightForge armor set and an awesome 2H sword named Destiny. I’ve also started a level 22 priest to play when I don’t have time for full instance run for the paladin or there isn’t a group forming I need.</nerdtalk>
And the most important news for last… my wife is pregnant. As soon as I find the guy who did it… he’s in for a stern lecture, too… or at least a strongly worded letter.
I’m excited about being a dad. I honestly thought you needed a license to breed, though, so I’m not sure how this happened.
Happy Chrismahanukwanzaka
Dec 28th
School is over for this semester and I don’t have to go back until Jan. 18. This makes me happy, but I’ve got a whole stack of drug cards I’m trying to memorize in preparation for the next couple of semesters. I ended up with 2 As and 2 Bs, which kind of makes me sad, cause I was hoping for at least 3 As. Oh well, I guess I’ll just be a very mediocre paramedic.
Rest assured with you call 911, you’ll get my very average skills to help you.
Actually, it was the 2nd highest grades in the class, but I’m pretty sure I could drink the other guy under the table, so that makes me feel better.
Christmas was good. The folks came down and I chauffeured my father around since he has had some knee trauma and surgery and is on crutches. Which was also very entertaining because of the 3 inches of snow/ice/wintry mush that has been on the ground. My dad is a big guy, too, and trying to fit him in the back of my Honda Civic with a leg that cannot bend is the stuff comedic sitcoms are made of.
We got a new kitten for Christmas. There is almost too much cuteness to handle. His name is Bing. Now we have Frankie and Bing as in Sinatra and Crosby. Yes, even more cuteness.
I’ve been playing World of Warcraft on my break. Let me just emphasize the complete awesomeness of this game and the massive time sink that it is. But I’ve managed to get several friends hooked on it, which doesn’t make me feel so bad spending my own time on it.
life is tiring
Nov 10th
My schedule for the next month is full. Every day. This makes me sad.
My man-steak sent me a link that is awesome. Stuff like this is why the internet is so great. It’s awesome because it combines two of my favorite things, the scientific experiment and vodka (especially Ketel One).
It’s something I’m going to try. I’ve done a blind vodka taste test with 6 different vodkas before. I’ve done a milk taste test, a scotch taste test with about 6 different scotches, a whiskey taste test, and lots of wine tastings. I’ve always wondered how filtering really affects the taste of vodkas and this seems like a great experiment.
On a sad note, a firefighter / paramedic friend of mine in CA, who was one of my teachers for my fire science / EMT classes and a great christian, recently had brain surgery to remove a tumor on his brain. Unfortunately it is malignant and they found more tumors on his lungs. If it pleases you, say a prayer for him and his family.
Even if it doesn’t please you, say one anyway.
VOTE FOR JS
Oct 20th
You know, I don’t like politics. And I don’t like to talk about political things. A lot of people have asked me who I am voting for lately, and I mostly ignore them, because of the first two sentences and well, it’s none of their business.
The thing is, I live in a pretty heavily Republican, right-wing area now. And I used to live in a pretty heavily Democratic, left-wing area. So I’ve had hefty exposure to both sides of the fanatical political equation.
Personally, I despise the current two-party political system, but that’s a rant for another day. Even though some of my views tend to fall more towards the right, I don’t like to be labeled a Republican or a Democrat or an Independent for that matter. I vote for the best person that I think can do the job. I don’t understand how people can blindly vote for the party and not the person.
What brings this whole political rant up is that I recently broke down and watched Fahrenheit 9/11. Now everyone (well, at least Volz), pretty much knows my opinion on Michael Moore. It’s not a pleasant one. I feel the same way about him as Volz does about David Lynch in that Volz will never pay to watch a David Lynch movie. Well, I had told myself I wouldn’t watch Fahrenheit 9/11, but I finally broke down and rented it and the Fahrenhype 9/11 movie that was right next to it.
I didn’t want to watch it, but I told myself that not watching it was kind of like not voting. I don’t really have the right to complain about it if I’m coming from an uninformed or uneducated base.
So, I watched both of them, back to back, which I believe is the best way to digest these to get any sense of balance out of them.
Don’t get me wrong… they are both sensationalist garbage. One goes so far left it is ludicrous that any reasonable person can rationalize any of Moore’s arguments. To me, Moore is no different than Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Springer, or Howard Stern for that matter. They all promote the extremist “shock view” that panders to the lowest common denominator. The other goes just as far in the right direction including great cameos with such “level headed” people as Ann Coulter and Zell Miller, who, while a Democrat in name from Georgia, comes off sounding like the most psychotic Republican I’ve ever heard. The sad part is, the truth, which both movies purport to uphold, likely lies somewhere in between the two, just like 99% of the media fed over the airwaves today. The intelligent person tries to discern this, but the majority of the population takes what is said for face value and ignores the other side.
I am a pretty religious watcher of The Daily Show, on Comedy Central. I think Jon Stewart it a genius… which is why EVERYONE should see this interview with him on Crossfire. This exemplifies the stupidity of news and politics in the U.S. The file is about 100MB but it is well worth it.
Anyway, enough of this ranting. It’s 3:45AM and I’m tired and most of this likely makes no sense. Therefore, I hereby officially announce who I am voting for president of the United States…
JON STEWART
The wheel weaves its web
Oct 6th
I’ve had lots of tests and homework lately. I’m really getting too old for this, but oh well, I asked for it. I really should be studying for a quiz tomorrow morning, but everything has conspired to keep me from doing so, so I will now stop fighting. Ka. Gan. The wheel at work, no doubt.
I finished reading the Dark Tower series and I’m now on the second book of The Wheel of Time.
You ever search for your name on google? I have. And apparenlty I’m nowhere to be found. There are just too many Brad Bell’s around.
Unfortunately I did find this: www.bradleybell.org.
WHAT THE?!! Gay and lesbian square dancing?!! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Not that there is anything wrong with that…
If you ever want to consume 8500 calories in one sitting, here is your chance.
If you are prone to seizures, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK!
